Further on RLS and my view on the bright side of this infliction

I was thinking about RLS while on the bus today and decided to find out exactly what the big whoop and media hype is all about. So you have a bit of excess energy coursing through your legs for some unexplained reason and you don't know know what to do with this mysterious outpouring and some would say, a natural God-given gift. Yes, I said "gift", even though I know that some of you will disagree with my point of view. As I see it, the main problem is calling it "Restless Leg Syndrome, and not let's say "Wannabe-Jogger-Legs", for example. It's all about marketing, I think and those pharma bastards have decided to brand something potentially liberating and beautiful into a DREADED "SYNDROME". The pharmaceutical industry loves a Syndrome, the way a bee loves honey.

I won't go in my pharma rant right now, as that is a blog for a rainy day. I will continue on with what I feel is plain, old fashioned advice for anyone with RLS or WJL (Wannabe-Jogger-Legs). WJL IS A WIN WIN definition. It implies a certain athletic bent and youthful exuberance and abundant energy. We all know it is good to have abundant energy, right. It's all in the marketing of this condiiton and the manner in which you use it. I know that a lot of people don't like jogging and this brings up a real concern.

What if you really hate the very idea of bending down and lacing up a pair of Nike Runners. The whole concept of panting in public places makes you feel queasy and disgusted with yourself? My simple solution is the following. Please use this very cautiously and wisely. And be crafty. If you are a woman and prone to sneaky, subversive behaviour, you'll get the picture pretty quickly and use your newly acquired "gift".

Scenario number one. Your hubby insulted you at dinner time, and you held back from blasting him in front of the kids at the Thanksgiving dinner table. His accusing tone and reference to your second helping of turkey and the condition of your THUNDER THIGHS and JO LO BUTT made your head spin. You held back your tears of rage, but because you are a smart woman, you made your vindictive plan for revenge.

Later that night, while in bed you deliver a deliberate and swift kick with the heel of your foot and hit your unsuspecting, snoring partner's right calf muscle. Ouch you can feel the pain, but you wait for him waken. You pretend to be asleep, and when he "wakes" you to ask what you did... you can blame this innocent act on the RLS that you are being treated for. In this case, you must use the RLS excuse and not the WJL, as that wouldn't work. See what I mean. It can be a real gift and if used properly, it can be considered a Get of of Jail Free card and what woman wouldn't want that?